


Humiliation and Greasy Diner Food

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: AU, Gen, drinking buddies, extremely minor mayhem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a fill for a drabble request on AwaitingMassProduction: "An H-01 and Antonio friendship story with some shenanigans."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humiliation and Greasy Diner Food

The doorbell was kinda weird. There was only one damn person in the world who could have been there at that time, the only one invited, and he never damn well rang the doorbell. For a moment entertaining the possibility that Kotetsu had arrived already drunk, he opened the door and stared for a number of seconds. Definitely not drunk. And definitely not who he expected.

The android stood with far too perfect posture, looking far too perfectly kempt. “Pardon me, Mr. Lopez. Kotetsu sent me in his stead.”

Maybe he should have started drinking early. “He what?”

"Kotetsu does indeed have the flu." Kurou confirmed. The "coming down with something" on Wednesday night had come to a full-blown desire to never get out of the bed for any reason by Thursday morning. Therefore, the Friday night plans he’d made with Antonio needed to be either canceled, or changed. "He was concerned that you would be bored or perhaps lonely and insisted that I should arrive here in his absence."

Not that it hadn’t been a nice thought. And it was a nice thing to do, sure, but… “Oh. Uh, well… I appreciate it and all, but I really don’t think…”

"His instructions were clear about the fact that I should insist until you ‘cave’." The android insisted.

Antonio snorted. Yeah, that was pure Kotetsu. “Well. You can come in if you want.”

"Please. And also thank you. I was instructed to bring alcohol. Should I retrieve it?"

"Yeah. Hey, sure." Even if he secretly wondered what an android would know about alcohol. "I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just come on back in." With Kurou’s nod, Antonio turned and gave his home a good looking over. He wasn’t exactly used to have anyone but Kotetsu as company. It wasn’t anywhere near as messy as certain bachelor pads, but maybe a little quick straightening up would be in everyone’s best interest. Especially certain magazines. He didn’t know if a robot even needed a birds and bees speech, but he damn well wasn’t about to find out.

At least the door gave a little squeak upon Kurou’s return, or he would have been damn near silent even if he was holding a pretty decent-sized paper bag full of bottles. “I had elected for beer as well as liquor, however I am aware that there is some need to use caution in combining the two.”

It was… kinda cute, in its own weird way. “For humans, anyway.”

"Yes." He responded easily, simply bringing the bag to the kitchen counter before systematically unpacking bottle after bottle.

Some of those, Antonio was pretty sure he’d never seen before; but he did recognize the fact that there was one bottle of rum and another of Vodka. Unfamiliar brands, but… interesting. “Wow, you went all-out.”

"I was encouraged to do so. Kotetsu advised me over the phone." Kurou informed, neatly folding the paper bag afterward.

So. Well. Clearing his throat, the Hero suggested, “Why don’t you pick out something and, uh… we’ll drink. Watch some TV or something maybe.”

Nodding, there seemed no pause for thought before Kurou actually reached for the only cider amongst the beers, curious. “I must apologize if this seems in any way rude to mention.” He prefaced, preferring to “get the matter out of the way” before the rest of the evening went on. “It would not seem as though you are entirely comfortable around me, however.”

Antonio’s hand closed around one of the darker beers just a little harder than usual. “Uh, well. I mean. You know why, right?”

"I am more than aware of the android incident, yes. Though I must remind you that not only was I not present, but I had already become conscious and independent by that point in time."

How the hell the android had managed to open just the right drawer in order to find the bottle opener had to be Kotetsu’s instruction. That was only funny as hell because Kotetsu always searched for it when he was there. “Well. Yeah. I guess… I just haven’t gotten used to you yet.”

"I understand. And I am not attempting to accuse." Kurou handed the bottle opener over. "I simply wish to know if there is anything which might make you more comfortable."

That was… interesting. He’d heard his friend talk about the android, and Barnaby. Hell, he couldn’t get away from Nathan’s glowing comments about “the cutie”; but it hadn’t really hit him until that point, how damn honest the android was. He knew that Kaede liked him, anyway, and Dr. Saito trusted him. Hell, even Agnes hadn’t said anything bad about him. Keith liked him, but Keith was Keith. Still. “Kotetsu says you’re okay, so… guess that means you’re okay.”

"While that is not necessarily the most confident of phrasing, I will ‘take it’."

Antonio snorted, tapping his bottle against Kurou’s in a bit of a toast. “Yeah, well. I’ve never hung out with you before. Maybe some of this alcohol would help break the ice, huh? Hey, uh, do you drink or are you just holding that bottle?”

"I am fully capable of drinking, yes." The android demonstrated, even if that drink seemed relatively small.

"Cool."

————————————————————————

It turned out that an android knew a damn lot about alcohol. A little too much to deny that he was Kotetsu’s, anyway. Antonio taught him a bunch of drinking games and a few ridiculous songs. Then they must have left his place, because—

Well. He woke up with a killer hangover in a jail cell with the android standing just a few feet away from him. Unfortunately, he woke up just in time to hear the conversation, and was only just coherent enough to hear that it was definitely Barnaby Kurou was talking to. Keeping his eyes closed and staying very still (not difficult, under the circumstances), he listened.

"What in the hell are you doing here?”

"Ah." Kurou’s voice, for sure. "Quite simply: Antonio introduced me to ‘cow tipping’."

"Oh no." There was definitely some horror in Barnaby’s response… but there was something trembling in the back of that horror, too.

"Though he had suggested that tipping a plastic cow would be much easier than ‘the real thing’."

"Oh no.” Horror and something else, definitely. It couldn’t be amusement.

"I believe he was correct, however. It was exceptionally easy to tip the plastic cow." Kurou assured. "It was when Mr. Lopez was making some attempt to right said cow that we were witnessed. He was given a breath test and clearly did not pass."

Barnaby sighed, loud and long. “And you?”

"I did pass, as my system stores all liquids in a sealed location, and my air flow system is not related."

Another deep sigh. Then, just ever so slightly, Barnaby gave a little laugh. “Accessory to cow tipping.”

"This does not seem entirely amusing."

"It isn’t.” And yet there was that sound again, a stifled laugh. “I’m… going to work this out. And no one’s going to tell Kotetsu.”

"That likely seems for the best." The android agreed.

"See if you can wake him up while I’m gone, alright?"

There was pretty obviously a nod in response, since he said nothing; but Antonio could damn well hear every step coming closer. “I’m awake.” He groaned quietly, wincing.

"It would seem—"

"Please not so loud."

Kurou lowered the volume on his synthesizer slightly. “It would seem that I must apologize for not ‘keeping you out of trouble’.”

"Nah. I’m pretty sure Kotetsu wouldn’t have told you to do that. He knows better, sick or not." Laughing would hurt his head too much, so he resisted. "Hey, can I get some water..?"

"There is a vending machine approximately 17 meters from our current location. I will make an inquiry as soon as possible."

That’d just have to do, he supposed. Prying his eyes open (and being damn sorry he did), Antonio started to very, very slowly sit up. “Guess I should do some apologizing too. Getting you brought in with me and all.”

"I specifically asked if I might be able to stay with you." Kurou admitted.

"What." The word couldn’t quite managed to be turned into a question.

"I was not arrested."

"What?" At least Antonio managed a question that time.

"I insisted upon remaining in the cell with you in order to assure that you were ‘alright’. Kotetsu did insist that we ‘spend time together’, and I did not wish to disregard that request out of minor inconvenience." It was a simple enough matter to the android, at least.

The Hero sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “Thanks. I guess.”

"You are welcome. Do you have a preferred hangover cure?"

Antonio snorted. Damn it hurt, but he just couldn’t help it. “Humiliation.” He admitted, rubbing his face again. “And greasy diner food.”

"As I must imagine one of those items has already been supplied, may I offer to aid with the second?"

The android’s question left the man gaping for just a little bit. “Sure. Yeah.”


End file.
